Dalit boy's married to Brahmin Girl
Intercaste couple attacked by kin after 28 years of marriage
Couple, married for 28 years, was allegedly beaten up and urinated on by the relatives of the husband in the Gadag district
Published on Jul 12, 2021 / By Sharan Poovanna, Bengaluru
In another incident of rising atrocities against members of the SC/ST (scheduled caste/scheduled tribe) community in the city, a couple, married for 28 years, was allegedly beaten up and urinated on by the relatives of the husband in the Gadag district. The husband belongs to an upper caste while the wife belongs to
the Valmiki community, classified as a scheduled tribe, the police said.
“The incident occurred on July 8 in Ron Taluk, roughly 385km from Bengaluru. The husband’s relatives had gotten into a fight with the couple, and the wife was injured during the incident. On July 9, we booked a case under the Scheduled Caste and Scheduled Tribe (Prevention of Atrocities) Act (SC/ST Act). Further, the investigation is on,” a police official said on condition of anonymity.
The incident has highlighted a sharp spike in atrocities against marginalized communities in the state. Between April 1, 2020, to March 31, 2021, there have been 2,327 cases of murder, exploitation and other cases against members of the SC/ST community in Karnataka, according to data from the state government.
This shows an increase of over 54% since the previous year, in which there were a total of 1,504 cases registered, according to data from the National Crime Records Bureau.
The cases include murder, exploitation, burns and other crimes against the members of the community.
In the last month alone, Karnataka witnessed at least three victims of “honour” killing, including several others, that include name-calling, denial of services and conflicts between groups that rarely make it to the books.
Two teenagers, a Dalit boy and a Muslim girl were killed in Saladahalli village in Devara Hipparagi taluk in Vijayapura district by the girl’s family, who smashed their heads with rocks, Hindustan Times reported on June 24.
In another case in Baragur village in Koppal district, a boy who belonged to the Madiga community was murdered by the family of the girl, who was from the dominant Kuruba community for being romantically involved.
Activists are taking out a rally in protest against the continued atrocities against Dalit groups in the Koppal district on July 19.
Activists said that there are skirmishes almost daily in rural Karnataka that exposes the dark belly of a state that is globally known for its prowess in technology, startups, aerospace and biotechnology among other attributes.
However, data suggests that the reporting of cases are low, but the conviction rates are even lower. Between April 2020 and May 2021, there were 87 murders, 216 cases of exploitation, 2,024 other instances and three incidents of fire, according to government data.
The government has allocated around ₹2,842.38 lakh as compensation for these crimes.
Out of the 2,775 arrested persons and 2,945 charge-sheeted from crimes and atrocities against SC/ST communities in 2019, only 50 were convicted, and 1,513 were acquitted, the data shows.(https://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/intercaste-couple-attacked-by-kin-after-28-years-of-marriage-101626029798818.html)
Aanav Pandey and Meena Kumari
Aanav Pandey, a Brahmin, met Meena Kumari, a Dalit, at a college in Chandigarh while studying. As they both got to know each other, their romance blossomed into a loving relationship.
Both felt that there was no way they were going to marry anyone else. But they also knew that an inter-caste marriage between them would be a huge struggle.
Aanav’s Brahmin family were totally against the marriage. They told him that he had to make a choice between Meena and the family.
When he chose Meena, Aanav’s family disowned him and had nothing to do with him anymore.
In comparison, Meena’s family were the opposite. They were open-minded and agreed for the marriage to take place.
Recalling the time, Meena says:
“It was very hard for Aanav. I wanted to be there for him during this very difficult time he was facing, being disowned by his parents. It was a very emotional time for him. My family made sure he did not feel alone in it all.”
Aanav still invited many of his relatives from his side of the family. But not one person showed up at the wedding. He got married to Meena without a single member of his family present.
Aanav says:
“Okay, I thought, my parents will not come but I was surprised to see not one relative showed up to my marriage. Even people who grew up with me snubbed me.”
It has been over five years since Aanav and Meena tied the knot. They have two children and live happily.
Aanav still makes an effort with his family and visits them once a year on his own. To this day, they still have not accepted Meena, despite them having grandchildren.(https://www.desiblitz.com/content/real-stories-inter-caste-marriages-india)
Peeyush Misra and Neetu Rawat
A 27-year-old lawyer, Peeyush Misra, who is a Brahmin met and fell in love with Neetu Rawat, who was of the lower Chamar caste when they were studying at Lucknow University.
Talking about the caste system in India, Peeyush says: “The institution of caste survives in India because of political motives.”
Speaking about his marriage to Neetu, he says:
“You must have the courage to take the initiative. Be ready to defy social barriers and there is nothing to stop a union like ours.”
His inter-caste marriage did cause some uproar amongst his relatives and friends. But it was his father who fully supported them and was very much in favour of the children deciding their own paths in life.
Feeling the battle was worth it, both Neetu and Peeyush say:
“We have been married for two years now and consider ourselves the happiest couple on earth.”
Well, these are some of the touching stories among many others. Even Bollywood actors like Shahrukh Khan and Gauri, Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao, Shahid Kapoor and Mira Rajput have tied their knots despite different castes and faiths.
Can it be said that times are changing in India? Somewhat, yes.
Things were different 20 years ago. The percentage of people marrying outside their castes then was comparatively lower to the percentage of people marrying today.
Also, inter-caste marriages have been much more prevalent in the cases of marriage after a divorce.
The Supreme Court has initiated a pilot project on examining the situation in the districts of Haryana and Uttar Pradesh.
In these Indian states, the attacks by khap panchayats on young couples were common. On the growing instances of honour killings, Chief Justice Dipak Mishra says:
“When two people decide to marry, they are adults and you are nobody to interfere.”
Even government schemes like the ‘Dr Savita Ben Ambedkar Inter Caste Marriage Scheme’ aim to help the couples who have taken a ‘socially bold step’ to settle down in the initial phase of their married life.
The scheme gives incentives to every inter-caste marriage involving a Dalit. Initially, in 2014-15, merely five couples were given approximately Rs 50,000 which, in 2015-16, rose to 72 couples receiving Rs 5 lakhs.
Studies reveal that incidences of inter-caste marriages in India have grown to about 10% of total marriages. So it can be said, that yes, times are changing.
However, it is required that the Indian government takes more initiatives to minimise the suffering of the young couples who pay a price just for the sake of falling in love.
LAKSHMI KRUPA
, 1981 BC and Pazhankudiyinar Iraivi‟s father was a follower of Periyar who advocated the rejection of caste names, and marriage outside caste groups. Way back in 1958, he had a Jaadi Maruppu or caste-rejecting marriage, and insisted that his children do the same. Iraivi went one step further. “I requested my father to find me a man not just from a BC or MBC community but a Pazhankudiyinar (tribal) man.” She married Nainar in a self-respect ceremony. “We have had a very happy married life,” says Iraivi, who has now taken on the mantle of arranging inter-caste marriages between Dalits and other castes. “It serves the purpose of caste groups to make it seem like inter-caste marriages won‟t work in Tamil Nadu. From my own experience, I can say they surely do.” ---------- In 1967, Tamil Nadu chief minister C.N. Annadurai created history by amending the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. To this day, it‟s the only state in India that recognises what‟s called a „selfrespect‟ marriage (suyamariyaathai or seethiruththa marriage) rejecting priests and dowry and encouraging inter-caste matrimony. Garlands, mangalsutras, even rings are optional. Tamil leader Periyar called this “daring not just for Tamil Nadu but also the entire world”. Which is why the controversy and violence over Vanniyar girl Divya‟s marriage with Dalit boy Ilavarasan, leading to the boy‟s ultimate death, has been such a rude awakening to many who assumed that Tamil Nadu had made significant strides in dealing with caste inequity. The ground reality, very far from the reform rhetoric, is that marriages between upper-caste women and Dalit men are an exception rather than the rule. The Vanniyar caste to which Divya belongs is classified as a Most Backward Caste while Ilavarasan as a Dalit falls right outside the pale. Today, it is at this end of the spectrum of the rainbow of caste politics that the most heated debate and violence is taking place. Vanniyar girl Senthamizhselvi and her Dalit husband Vimalraj are in hiding. “After Ilavarasan‟s death I fear for our lives,” she says over the phone, talking from an undisclosed location. In Senthamizhselvi‟s village Manakkarai there have been in all only three „love‟ marriages. “The first two were within our caste, but they created a huge uproar,” she says, and they were not considering marriage. Says Vimalraj, “She was studying and I wanted to wait till she finished.” 
I’m so sorry if this is your personal experience.
I can imagine how heart wrenching this must be.
The saddest part is that there is no reasonable reason as to why a Dalit boy and a Brahmin girl shouldn’t be able to marry one another.
Castes are a completely arbitrary device of social stratification and while they can deeply impact one’s experiences, there is no reason for them to exist in this day and age.
Any adult ought to be able to make decisions surrounding marriage for themselves.
But unfortunately, that would require human beings to be sufficiently empathetic and treat one another as individuals and we often don’t seem to be able do that.
A person’s gender, socio-economic status, standing in the social hierarchy, language, religion, faith and ethnicity, all play into our perspective.
And it’s not just the families that one has to contend with….
Social attitudes surrounding marital unions that cross social lines, have great impact on individuals as well, whether by way of social backlash or even outright violence.
Now, I will say this- there is such a thing as a difficult chasm to bridge, in a marriage.
You can imagine how, it would be hard for someone raised in a tremendously liberal culture, with protected individual rights and freedoms, to transition to a much more conservative culture, as well as the other way around.
And love struck couples can be idealistic enough to not give these challenges adequate weight, when making the decision to marry.
So, while in an ideal sense, any two adults ought to be able to make the decision to get married, there are many, many practical constraints that make such a union challenging.
If this is your personal situation, I would recommend closely considering the impact of a marriage that cuts through social sentiments that run deep.
Lack of social acceptance, losing ties to family, perhaps even violence, are often very real consequences of such marriages.
Please be realistic in your assessment and make your decision accordingly.
If you still believe in your partnership, go for it.
It is those that defy these meaningless, hateful sentiments, that ultimately break their hold on society. (Quora)
Is there any example where an SC/ST boy was married to a Brahmin girl?
My friends mother is brahmin and her father is St. Her mother's family didn't accepted this marriage but they all are living happily. Now inter caste marriage is not a big thing . There are lot of examples. . I agree that earlier parents didn't support inter caste marriages but now most of them are cool about it. In my own family one of my cousin got married to sc guy and she is happy. I'm not sure about people of rural areas or the people who lives in urban areas who are uneducated but usually educated people don't care about this things and they do support their children . We have to change our mentality
https://www.quora.com/Is-there-any-example-where-an-SC-ST-boy-was-married-to-a-Brahmin-girl#:~:text=Nivedita%20Manjhi,change%20our%20mentality
My Cousin married a converted Christian. I am not sure if they are STs officially, but unofficially we all know that they converted STs.
My cousin's parent's almost disowned her, means they talk to her on phone but she cant come to their home etc., so complicated..
I am not a Brahmin but I belong to one of the so called *UPPER CASTES*.
I am in a relationship with this guy who cares for me like I'm the only one, who's the one standing by my side whenever I need him, who's the one loyal to me, who has never betrayed me, who can never ever think about hurting me in anyway,who's the one who accepts me for what I am . So why can't I accept him for what he is ?
Let's talk about his family. He belongs to a well educated and well known family. Most of the members of his family are doctors (not by the benefits of reservation) who have topped in their exams. His father is a business man and mother is a teacher. His younger brother is school topper and has very sharp brain. He himself is very intelligent, he is a certified ethical hacker and holds 3 degrees in the same field. I respect all of them.
So shall I judge all of them on the basis of their caste?
No way. They are very good human beings. They accepted me as I am. They treat me like their own daughter. My guy loves me like anything. He always stays by my side no matter how hard the situation gets.
I would love to marry him.
I was brought up in a family where we are taught to marry the one whom our parents choose and who belongs to our caste but I am no where a blind follower of such caste system. We humans are the creator of such caste system, we divided ourselves into upper and lower categories. Inside we all are same.
Am I ready to marry a SC/ST guy??
A big yes.
My mother was born and raised in a conservative Brahmin family. Her childhood was spent learning music, reading books, and talking to grandmothers.
My father was born into one of the lowest castes, marked as SC. He spent his childhood swimming around in muddy ponds and chasing pigs.
How would their worlds meet, one might wonder.
My father fell in love with music as he grew up, becoming relatively well-known in our small town as a singer, while working full-time as a bank manager. My mother, meanwhile, contracted Polio aged 5, became a quadriplegic, and had to forego her education. Her family was highly literate and she taught herself how to read, becoming a voracious reader. Music and books became her life.
My parents met due to their mutual love of music. They were never alone in a room together and no one had any inkling of their love for each other; things came to a head when my father scrawled, “Will you marry me?” on a small piece of paper and managed to slip it into her hand.
Opportunity presented itself 2 years later, and they eloped and got married. The year was 1981. The challenges were many - a huge divide in caste and culture being one of the most major ones.
A few highlights to note -
- He never brought non-vegetarian food into the house. If he wanted to eat chicken, he ate at a restaurant
- His caste was never a question among my mother’s family. My father and his family were always welcomed. My paternal cousins, though, made fun of my mother’s heritage whenever we met
- My paternal grandparents never accepted my mother, but I don’t know whether that was due to her caste or her quadriplegic status
- The children (my brother and I) were raised more like Brahmins. This was mostly because our maternal grandmother looked after us almost full-time and we spent all our summers at her place
- Despite being raised like a Brahmin I was officially an SC. It feels surreal to think of
All this being said, I think this was a one-off case that managed to shine through despite all odds.
Because the odds are always there, and always will be. 37 years have passed since they got married, and the issue of caste is still here in society. Inter-caste marriages are still not mainstream. Even today we have questions on international platforms that ask whether a Brahmin girl would marry an SC. Maybe, if they fell in love and didn’t care about the consent of their parents. They might sustain their relationship if they don’t let other people get in and dictate how they should live their lives. My parents never let society dictate how they should live and how their ideal life partner was supposed to be. They’ve lived far better lives than the rest of us.
This is them, 5 years after they got married
Here they are, after 35 years of marriage. I’m the one holding my mother’s mic for her. The occasion is my brother’s wedding
Music is their life. Their love for music brought them together and kept them together.
To answer your question, yes, Brahmin girls do marry SC guys, but they have to find some common ground first. Take that away and once the infatuation fades, you’ll be left with acute cultural differences on top of everything a marriage brings with it.(Quora)
I am a guy (SC) from tier 2 engineering college earning 32 lpa private job no mba worked only with startups.
Why i mentioned this ?
Because i don't want people to raise any reservation topic here . Man this country deserve it and i will share why .
I belong to a middle class family (middle class before i started earning and now we came in upper middle class and both my parents are well educated and work at gazetted level position in government organizations living in delhi )
I was in relationship with this brahmin girl ( kashmiri pandit + punjabi ). We were so much in love for 3 years. Our families know about us from beginning and also aware of the fact that i am from schedule caste. They were ready for our marriage as well. After 3 years of relationship her parents visited my place for fix date of our marriage and the first thing she said was “ji hum to sharma ya mishra mein hi apni beti ki shadi karenge” ( we want our daughter to get married) even after that my parents treated them very well and without any shame these people took their time to ate everything we had to serve. After the first line she spoke i went into the other room. (Hard for me to control anger and i was on call with my girlfriend who was so shocked and apologizing for her family's behaviour) .
When her parents were leaving they want to say goodbye to me and i didn't show up . Man i was in so much anger i could have done anything so i decided to not to meet them.
My girlfriend was talking to me before her parents reached home and she was discussing things with them so we did not talked for next 6 hours and then she pinged me :
She : there ?
Me : yup , so did you asker your parents why did they behaved like that ?
She : they said they were testing you and you failed , you did not even came to say bye to them.
“Are you kidding me ?? ”
“Are you really kidding me ??? “”
This was something going in my head.
Then she want to talk tomorrow and i gave her the space.
After few days drama we broke up and her final words were : “my parents and my family will never respect you and i don't want to live without them and it will be difficult for her to see her husband disrespected by her parents and family whole life ”.
What went wrong ?
She was from a punjabi brahman family and her mother's sisters and fater's brother they all were really close . And rest of the familly cannot accept a sc guy into their family. So even to my girlfriend parents were ok with us getting married earlier these people make them change thier decision.
Because its low status thing , no one respect them its a lower caste.
So it took me 5 years to come out of depression and be ready to get ready to be in any kind of relationship.
But in those 5 years a few girls tried to come close to me i was friend with them (different timelines)
Girl 1 : she was sharma as well this time bhardwaj . She was so much in love with me but her father was really strict and she had no guts to go against him or say anything to him . One day she proposed me i told her that i am from sc category. She was shocked at first and said it does not matter to her. I asked her to discuss this with her mother as she was close to her and her also know me well. After few days she said that her father will never allow her to get married to anyone from sc category.
Girl 2 : Gupta (baniya) , we were friend for almost 3 years , i use to like a lot since we had good chemistry and she was hard working and successful in career as well. Doing better than other counter parts in our firm from IITs and IIMs . Her father wanted a boy but he had a daughter and she always wanted to be his son . One day we were in a party and she kind of confessed her feeling for me and saying that her parents are searching for a groom. I told her that i like you but i am from sc category and guptas are like anti sc types. She was silent for like 30 seconds and i can clearly see that she wanted to go ahead but something make her stop and she said yes i will be really impossible as her father is not a gentleman. She then shared lot of her painful childhood stories and she cried. ( We were away from others in a cornor of the terrace of the bar).
Everbody was gone and we talked for like 2 hours more that day and we are still friends just meet / talk once or twice an year as she is in another city now.
Girl 3 : Punjabi (khatri) i moved to another company and she was the one who introduced me to others and invited me for lunch with the team. I think she was doing her job as she was project manager , making new guy comfortable.
She was sweet and talkative , hard working and really dedicated towards work. Want to do something in her life. Her parents were looking for a groom on matrimony websites and she waa sharing some of her experiences , asking for advice about what kind of questions to ask from a guy. Though we were 3 guys and 4 girls in that group. She like my advice and my mindset. Then we started talking small breaks discussing things related to work and me answer her life related questions sharing my thoughts. I know where these things were going slowly. She was not happy with any of the guy she met and after few months she told me about one guy she is going to meet , next day she shared her experience and doubts and i was like : i think he is a good match for you. After talking to this guy for some weeks and meeting him twice after 45 days she called me to finally ask me that whether she should say yes to him ? ( Yes it was like, idiot you know my feelings and i know yours too , are you going to confess ? ) I asked her to say yes to this guy. And she got engaged. I attended her marriage and her parents really treated my life asif they know me very well and her mother was like : oh, he is abhay(my name , fictional one) when we met for the first time. ( From all those things i deduced that she might have share things with her parents as she was really open with them) . I attended from engagement to all ceremonies till marriage helped her family in taking care of guest and managing stuff.
Next day of her marriage she called me and asked me about her day with in-laws and kind of a good bye call and she asked me clearly why i didn't wanted to marry her though she got different vibes from me . I told her that i am from sc category and she is punjabi . I told her about my experiences. Though she said that she might have easily convinced her family if i might have shared this before. I said it would have been hard to convince other people on extended family. As i met all her relatives during all ceremonies. They were a close knit punjabi family. Happy about NRI groom and how beautiful they look. ( The guy looked better than me and taller too). So if i would have been there then all those ceremonies might not have looked or felt the way it was.
She understood why i did whatever i did but after this i was ready to get married so my parents started looking for a bride on matrimoney websites.
They were ready to get a bride from any caste and many times people contacted them as they saw a family with good background and earnings of the guy and they were in so hurry to call that they did not bother to look at the caste . After few discussion when they got to know that we are from sc category they mentioned that it is something they did not noticed in the profile of the guy.
So just to experiment i started send interest request to every girl who is searching for a guy like me just the caste is different or has no caste bar (2000–3000 interest sent) .
So the observation is :
- Out of 400–500 interest sent to brahmin girls , 3 accepted out of which 2 cancelled interest. 1 never picked up call or bother to call back.
- Out of 700–1000 invites sent to baniya people 2 accepted and in both cases the girls were not earning and were older than me.
- Out of 600–700 invites sent to punjabi families 31 accepted. Out of which only 7 were working rest all accepted just because of the package. Out of 7 we were able to talk to 3 . But due to minimum looks criteria we were not able to proceed.
So to conclude, our society is not ready to get their children getting married to sc/st category people even if he is “vishnu avatar” (not comparing to myself) . Yes brahmins will never do this unless the girl can get married to you without consent. From so many centuries brahmins had been doing business by spreading division and fear , i have many brahmin friends and they all are good people and totally accept that its like a taboo.
Even if somehow you convince parents of the girl but it come up with life time validity bad words of relatives to her parents and people gossiping about the family.
I have 2 more friends :
- He has same story as mine , earns more than me and well setelled , now has given upon love marriages and may be on marriages.
- He earns same amount and 30 years old. Same sharma girl love story. Don't want to get married now. Both parents passed away, lives alone in bangalore.
I know many other people who belong to sc/st category but none of them was able to convert love into marrige. And those who are married got a sc wife only.
My cousin is a tier 1 college pass out better looking tan me had a yadav girlfriend but her family did not agreed for marriage as well , he was in love too and now he is 34 years old still single and focussing on career i don't think he is also planning to get married.
So i do have friends from school, neighborhood, college and work who belong to brahmin, baniya, jat, punjabi family out of which just 5 people know that i am from sc category. And i have often heard things like :
“Who will get married to a sc girl , such a disgrace , my family will throw me out.”
“Man sc people get unfair advantage because of reservation in india.”
Do you really think that are getting treated fairly ? Theoretically i feel reservation is bad but practically i think it should be there. Because when you are living in tier 2 cities , people ask about your caste before hiring you even for a 5000 INR a month job , you cannot drink water from well 100 meters away from your house because it is for higher caste people. Your barat should move silently when passing through an area where higher caste people live. Cars or bikes are burnt just because how a sc catogery guy dared to buy it and some higher caste people can't digest.
Is this fair ? I am writing about India of today (november 2018) yes this still happen and i have seen and experienced all these things. Ever heard the word “dalit” ??? Just google about it . Whatever you see there is not even 1% of things that happen in india. ( My extended family live in villages )
And with folded hands there is just one question i wanted to ask, why we all have forgotten that we were born as “human” first ? , all other things come after that.
And about me : I am 29 years old and not planning to get married anymore , i dont want my children to be tagged as s.c as i Don't have any hope with people of this country. I don't want them to curse me.
I think reservation system in india is a result of karma. People are suffering just becuase they were born in some caste just the suffering is of different type. Unless everyone will stop the suffering is not going to go.
There is a saying in Law : no innocent should be punished even though you have to let go of 100 criminals. ( So though reservation system is bad theoretically but no innocent should suffer) .(Quora)
Brahmin girl here.
Before I answer this question, I'd like to share a few experiences.
I haven't personally seen any caste based discrimination, where I come from. It may vary from region to region, but I've not seen it.
My parents work with SC/ST people and as long as I remember they've never discriminated them, or talked in negative tones regarding them.
I don't have any sort of prejudice towards them.
I feel that most of the people of my age group ( 18–25 years) coming from an urban, educated family would agree with that.
On the other hand One of the “ brahmin” girl I used to know is dating an SC guy. Her father is against it. He says that if she marries him, he will disown her.
So, you can't generalize all Brahmins. Some are liberal some aren't.
Weddings in India are a big deal.
Although I don't think that Chetan Bhagat is a writer of great calibre, I feel that he said one thing right, in his novel The Two States
“ In India, it's not just individuals that marry. Their families marry each other too.”
Intercaste marriages are a still big deal here, even in 21st century.
Now, coming to the answer.
I'm not a representative of all the brahmin girls here, this answer is highly individual.
Whenever I have thought about my criteria of marriage, caste has never really been one of them. I won't say that all my criteria are perfect, however, things like caste, “ reputation” etc have never been in them.
If a guy fits all these criteria, and has all the values that I look for in a man, but turns out to be an SC/ST, then no, I won't reject him on that basis.
I'm not saying this to sound noble.
I just value a good husband more than his caste. I do believe there's more to an individual than that.
Like others have pointed in their answers, there might be a some incompatiblities due to difference in the cultures ex : eating non veg etc, but when is that not a case? There are always some adjustments to be made. Even a brahmin guy might be non vegetarian.
And about your relatives talking about you , well, I really owe them nothing. Again, I don't want to sound high and mighty, but who would I prioritise?
A man I love or a few fat menopausal aunties, whose only achievement in life was to reproduce.
It's a fact that when it comes to arranged marriages, parents prefer to marry their kids within their own caste.
However, when I look around, I do see a lot of young people breaking down the caste barrier. They're not doing it because they're revolutionaries of some kind, as someone else has implied in their answer.
They're doing it because it is the right thing to do.
I'll marry according to my own accord and not according to some outdated system that has bred more poison in our society than anything else.(Quora)
